What Makes A Relationship Healthy?
A relationship means the connection between two or more people. It can be romantic, emotional or professional. This is the simple definition of a relationship, but in reality, it is very complicated, still beautiful than simple.
When I was young, I used to think that a relationship is a beautiful box full of emotions like companionship, intimacy and friendship etc. Then I get married, I have a beautiful family, amazing friends and lots of relatives.
It took me 20 years of marriage to understand that box was never full, it was empty. You have to put something in the box. There is no love in the relationship I love is in people. They put love in the relationship, you have to infuse it. You have to keep on feeding the relationship box with praising, giving things. If you take more out of the box than feeding, then soon the box will be empty.
The relationship should be healthy. Now, what makes a relationship healthy?
A healthy relationship, whether it’s romantic, brotherly or friendly, is when each person is allowed room to grow, unjudged and still loved.
Trust is the backbone of healthy and happy relationships whether they are romantic or not. Trust goes hand in hand with honesty, open communication and respect. Trust occurs when someone’s thoughts align with their words and actions. For any relationship to work, love is not enough. Feeling of love and connection over a period of time can fluctuate but trust is consistent. On the foundation of trust, solid relationships are built.
What is the meaning of being honest in a relationship? Whether it's emotional or professional, you don’t have to be hurtful or reveal every thought to your partner. In a relationship, you have to remember all of the good reasons to be honest. With honesty, there is no question of personal insecurities. A strong bond is formed when there is honesty and trust in a relationship. Disagreement is found to happen, but when we are honest with the partner, it encourages acceptance in a relationship.
Two individuals, who are different, come together and form a relationship on the basis of trust and honesty. This doesn’t mean you have to be codependent. Code mantra for a healthy relationship is not only to grow old together but also grow independently. It’s essential to have a sense of your own self in a relationship. It’s fun to share experiences with your partner or spend time but get time on a regular basis to do something on your own that you enjoy and that gives you energy.
Equality in a relationship means both the partner’s interests and desires are respected. There is no imbalance of power between partners. For equality or balance of power in a relationship, there are no set of rules. Some think making equal money and others think sharing housework. Often the concept of equality comes from some belief system and is imposed on the relationship by one partner or another.
Equality in a relationship is mutual respect and constructive communication. For healthy relations, every couple should follow their own system of equality based on their strengths and weaknesses. ‘Breadwinners’ and ‘Homeworkers’ are old terms now. In a relationship both the partner can go out, work, earn, come back home and share the house chores as well. Or in another scenario, one partner can choose to stay back home and take care while the other can go out and work. Like we discussed earlier both the partner’s interests and desires are respected.
This term is used with different ideas like admiration or sometimes it is shown to figures like parents, teachers etc. but respect means the difference in a healthy relationship. Respect is reflected in how you treat each other on daily basis. Respect means talking openly and honestly, listening to each other, giving each other space and at the same time supporting each other.
6. Healthy Conflicts
Can conflicts be healthy? Conflicts are part of a relationship and the way we resolve the conflict determines how healthy your relationship is.
“One thing I absolutely love about my husband is, whenever there is disagreement or conflict between us he keeps quiet, listens to my side of the argument and then puts his side.”
A healthy relationship is all about openly and respectfully discussing issues, admitting when you make mistakes and above all confronting disagreement without judging.
“When we got married, you were so much fun, now you are so boring.” Heard these lines many times?
What changes in a relationship? Remember those days full of adventure, fun parties. But somewhere along the way, we forgot that we are supposed to be having fun. It doesn’t have to be like that, you don’t have to be that boring couple.
Find out what makes each other happy, then do more of that, this is a great way to spend more time together. Get out of your comfort zone and do something special for your partner. Date each other again, make a travel plan.
Albert Camus said – “Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”