13 Best Ways To Deal With Jealousy In A Relationship
A relationship is like a couple holding hands, although the hands are different and imperfect they still fit together perfectly.
Relationships include fights, jealousy, arguments, faith, tears, disagreement, but a real relationship fights through all that with love. Relationship and Love are beautiful feelings but only after being in a relationship or falling in love, you realize that it requires quite a lot of work. You really love and appreciate your partner but when Jealousy appears, it is very difficult to handle.
In a relationship, it is natural to feel little jealous especially if you have strong feelings for your partner. Actually occasional jealousy adds excitement and zest to the relationship. But when it becomes more frequent and intense then there can be lots of problems.
Here we are going to discuss 13 simple ways to Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship.
1. Little Jealousy Is Normal:
Jealously is actually the feeling of insecurity. Nowadays people are more afraid of being rejected, not being loved or worry about losing people they care. These feelings are natural but thought of jealousy is extreme. In such cases the clue is to trust your partner, stay calm and open your heart to your partner.
Little jealousy in a relationship is a normal thing and dealing with it in a normal and positive way is good. It can be frightening, what happens when we allow jealousy to overpower us.
2. Critical Inner Voice:
According to Dr Lisa Firestone, "we all have an inner voice which is self-critical." This inner critical voice is a negative talk which comes from comparison and judges us. This can lead us to a feeling of jealousy, and it also makes us realize how the situation is harder to deal with.
One should always remember that you are in a relationship because you choose to love. Trust your partner and be willing to accept what is beyond your control.
3. Try To Find Out Reason For Your Jealousy:
Once we start acknowledging that we are jealous or insecure, and then we open the doors to learning and positivity. It is very easy to assume that it’s our partner’s mistake to make us feel insecure.
Instead of the blame game, we can start with making the list of things which trigger the jealousy in us.
It is a basic fact that any relationship goes smoother when people don’t get jealous. Jealousy in a relationship often comes from fear of rejection, insecurities, negative thinking etc.
4. Remind Yourself of Your Positive Qualities:
If sometimes comparison happens like he/she is good at something but I am not, but: am good at some other thing. If we keep reminding ourselves of the qualities we have, then comparison won’t hurt.
A lot of people think that competition is not good but it’s not the competition of being the best but being at our own best. In other words, appreciating the qualities we have and using them in pursuit of enhancing yourself as a person.
Instead, it will motivate us to appreciate others and work on our quality more.
5. Trust Issues:
Other than the insecurities in the current relationship, there is a possibility that we might be dealing with some old issues which could be leading us to jealousy. Sometimes it is affected by childhood or past relationships.
For starters, we can stay focus on feeling strong and secure in ourselves. We are human beings and are full of flaws and limitations. One failed relationship doesn’t mean that we are not lovable. In such cases we should practice self-compassion, this doesn’t mean that we shut people from our life but embrace whatever comes to us.
If we try to analyze our trust issues or from whose these issues are derived, then we can outgrow those feelings.
6. Try To Avoid Blame Game:
If you want some answers to your doubts, then start the conversation very carefully. It should sound like the conversation is about you, not about him/her.
If you start a conversation with blames or accusations then your partner might be defensive.
This doesn’t mean that if you notice a change in your partner’s behaviour is not correct, but if you want some closure to your doubts, then the conversation has to be productive.
7. Boundary Is Important:
There is a Danish proverb “Jealousy and Rust Iron eats itself to grow.” So true! We might be so tempted to go and looking to his or her stuff for clarifications, but this is not a smart idea. If someone is unfaithful, then he or she will find out ways to cheat. But the point here is we should be able to respect each other boundaries.
Another way to deal with jealousy in a relationship is by keeping a journal. It is the best way to vent out jealousy and also gives you an opportunity to go back and read what you have written and analyze yourself.
8. Talk to Your Partner:
There are two types of pain- one that hurts you and the other that has changed you!
You should be proud of yourself that you have accepted it that you are jealous and ready to talk to your partner. It is ok to ask your partner about your insecurities that something has changed which leads us to these feelings.
The conversation between you and your partner should be open than argument or blame. It is always helpful to talk to your partner before negative thoughts take over you. Having a clear conversation with your partner can actually make him/her what is going on with you and hopefully help to reduce the feeling of jealousy or completely dissolve it.
9. Talk To A Friend:
We all have friends, but there is one friend with whom we can share everything, every detail of our life. The jealous are troublesome to others but a torment to themselves.
We can talk to a friend and he or she can give a different perspective to our thinking.
We should talk to those friends who support the positive side of us and help us from sinking worse deeper into negative thoughts. There are many types of friends- one who gets little worked u when we bring a certain subject, such friends might not be a good idea to seek help. On the other hand, we should go to such friends who support us to stay on track and be more positive.
10. Set New Ground Rules:
Jealousy is love and hates at the same time. After opening up to your partner and letting him or she knows about your insecurities and if the partner also agrees, then make new ground rules for the relationship to work. Both of you can make a ground-rule on the basis of what’s trigging the jealousy.
Remember that jealousy is caused by insecurity, possessiveness and fears that distance us from love contaminate our relationships and destroy our freedom. That’s why it cannot be synonymous with love.
11. Try To Train Your Mind:
Jealousy is an emotion. When we go through such emotional phase, our mind starts working on many theories on who is guilty and who is not? Jealousy doesn’t allow us to see beyond a point. In this case, we can try and train our mind from avoiding such feelings. For this, we can meditate and calm mind.
The best way to deal with jealousy in a relationship is by shifting the focus. The most relaxing feeling is not to worry about those feelings in a relationship which are going wrong or not as per your expectations but to focus on what’s going on right.
12. Empty Mind Is Devil’s Workshop:
One more very productive way to get rid of jealousy is utilizing that excess energy in some workout like running, pushing against a wall, Jumping or sometimes even taking a cold shower also works.
One can enhance his or her qualities like choosing a hobby – dancing, singing, painting, etc. it is basically an effort to distract your mind on jealousy.
13. Express your Feelings Honestly:
In the worst-case scenario if you find out that the reason for your jealousy is valid and your partner is cheating on you then it is important to take action. And in another scenario, you can have an open and honest conversation with your partner without blaming but pointing out that what is making you feel uncomfortable.
Any relationship is not perfect; it’s just that both partners never gave up. Overcoming jealousy begins with awareness. Awareness about your negativity, insecurities etc., and then it allows you to see clearly.
Jealousy is the carelessness of your mind and heart where you cannot see beyond a point and if it has not captured you completely, then you can keep yourself out of it.