8 Tips To Deal With Teenage Attitude
This article includes
- Challenges of Teenage
- Parenting Problems With Teenager And Their Solutions
- Tips On How To Deal With Your Teenage
LIFE is a four-letter word that is complicated enough that no one will ever decode its true meaning. Whether you were born into a wealthy family or a poor one, your life will be full of ups and downs. The goal in life is to minimize the downs and live happy and inspiring existence.
As Brad Henry said – “Families are the compass that guided us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights and our comfort when we occasionally falter."
Here I want to remind the funny side of the family –“Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts.” It is the test of freedom because the family is the only thing that the free man makes for himself and by himself.
Teens are a very important branch of the family tree and teenage is very crucial and sometimes can be a little difficult to handle.
A Teenager is a young person between 13 to 19 years old. Being a teenager is hard and being the parent of a teenager can often feel even harder. During their teenage years, young people face a huge number of challenges. Their bodies are changing, and they are going through a massive period of brain and hormonal development.
They are growing up and maturing more generally. They are trying to find out who they are, and establish their identity as a separate person from both you and their friends, but heavily influenced by both. They are also subject to increasing pressure to achieve good results at school, with public exams looming.
Parenting Problems With Teenager
The behaviour of your well-behaved child usually changes when he enters adolescence and most parents’ wonder what has happened to their child that is changing so much but they forget that their child is now in teenage. It is, perhaps, not surprising that their behaviour may become more challenging, and that they may experience mood swings and emotional ups and downs during this period.
“ In the time it takes you to understand a 14-years –old, he turns 15” - (Robert Brault)
On one hand, while you are still seeing your teenage child as a small child, on the other hand, your teenage boy/girl has moved on his own. Everything is different and new for him. Now he/she has feelings and emotions that never felt before. In this case, you should accept that your child is now stepping to adulthood.
At this stage of the child's age, the parents consider their teenagers to be small and the teenagers start to feel that they are grown-up; this becomes the cause of conflict between the parents and the child.
Here we will discuss some common parenting problems with teenager and solutions to them.
Developing New Hobbies
There was a time when your child loved to play around you at home but now that time has passed. Now he likes to hang out for a long time and is making new friends, learning new skills, finding new passion etc. And maybe now your teen wants to try his hand at drinking too.
“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.” - (Dave Barry)
To control such hobbies of teens:
- When you are giving full freedom, then make some rules also So that your teen does not misuse that freedom.
- Set some rules for parties and staying out late at night. Set a time limit for late-night hangout.
- Try to make him understand that he is not yet fully mature, so he can wait a little longer to drink
Doesn’t See Your Point.
When your teenager doesn't see your points, it's definitely a frustrating situation. When your child starts ignoring you or pushing you away, try not to take it personally.
Remind yourself that this is a stage they’re going through, and it’s up to you to deal with it in a mature way.
- If it’s hurtful when your child is embarrassed by you, come up with a slogan you can tell yourself at the moment like, “This is normal; it’s part of adolescence and it’s what he’s supposed to be doing. It’s not about me.”
- Your teenager and your views may be different. Accept this fact because now your teenager has a different personality.
- Instead of imposing your opinion, always monitor what he is doing and advise him before anything goes wrong.
Refuses To Listen To You
As a child enters in teenage, his/her behaviour changes suddenly. This is one of the most common characteristics of teenagers and the children refuse to listen to their parents. This can be done in a variety of ways, including and not limited to teasing, disobeying, not listening, back-talking, temper throwing, rule-breaking, dismissing, haggling, and maddening.
To deal with such a situation keep in mind the following points:
- The first rule of thumb in the face of a teenager attitude is to keep mind your cool and do not react angrily to his behaviour.
- When you feel upset or challenged by a teen, before you say or do something that may worsen the situation, take a deep breath and count slowly to ten.
- If you're still upset after counting to ten, take a time out if possible, and revisit the issue after you calm down.
- If you feel that he is doing something wrong in the matter of not listening to your words, do not force him, rather talk to him calmly and explain that what he is doing is wrong.
Makes His Own Decisions
Teenage behaviour is controlled in large part by the many hormonal and biological changes that occur during puberty. He wants to make his own decisions and he does not like your interference whereas before that he depended on you for everything.
This situation can be handled in the following ways:
- Put yourself in your child's Place and think that that you too have gone through such situation when you were in teenage and now it’s your child’s turn, accept this fact.
- Sit and talk with your teenager. Be frank and honest with yourself and your teenager.
- This behaviour of the teenager is completely normal because now he has his own preferences and likes. So don't be disappointed.
Tips On How To Deal With Your Teenager
Raising teenagers isn’t always easy. And teenage attitude or behaviour can be challenging. Rather, their actions and attitudes are the results of physiological and emotional turbulence during the adolescent years. And the question of how to deal with your teenager becomes easy to answer. What do kids really need? And how can we practice awareness to create an authentic connection?
#1. Utilize Assertive And Effective Communication
“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” This statement is particularly applicable when it comes to working with and motivating teenagers. When you face a difficult young person, strengthen your position by utilizing assertive communication skills.
You have to try diplomacy and the way of saying "no" to reduce teen resistance and increase cooperation. To communicate with him often, do things together as much as possible, and give him unconditional love.
#2. Attune Your Sense of Humor
With a little effort, you can almost always find humour instead of aggravation, and share that with your child. Let them feel they have someone on their side that doesn’t take it all too seriously, but at the same time, sees how hard it is and loves them.
"They may forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel" – Carl W Buechner
Obviously, don’t laugh at your child-ever, show empathy by not over-reacting. Respond with a smile rather than a frown. So you can use humour to break a very intense argument which will also help you to look at the problem from each other’s perspective.
#3. Stay Calm To Handle The Attitude
Difficult kids appear to take pleasure from pushing your buttons and making you crazy. But on a deeper level, they may be crying out for your help or your attention. They need you to stay strong and calm. Just like a toddler who challenges the rules, teens feel safest when they know they can trust their parents to be solid, no matter what grief they give them.
And in such a situation, if you are not able to control your anger, then the situation can go from bad to worse.
#4. Listen without judging or giving advice
One of the reasons it’s hard to be a teenager is the pervasive sense of being judged. Children are blissfully unaware of the perceptions of others, but teens are painfully, brutally aware, and believe that everyone is looking at them with critical mocking eyes.
"Don’t laugh at a youth for his affections; he is only trying one face after another to find a face of his own." - (Logan Pearsall Smith)
When your teen does talk to you, it’s important that you listen without judging, mocking, interrupting, criticizing, or offering advice. Your teen wants to feel understood and valued by you, so maintain eye contact and keep your focus on your child, even when they’re not looking at you. If you’re checking your email or reading the newspaper, your teen will feel that they’re not important to you.
#5. Sometimes Accept Rejections Made By Teens
Your teen may often respond to your attempts to connect with anger, irritation, or other negative reactions. Stay relaxed and allow your teen space to cool off. Try again later when you’re both calm. Successfully connecting to your teen will take time and effort. Don’t be put off; persevere and the breakthrough will come.
You may advise your kid on something but he may reject it outright. Don’t be disappointed because he has now his own preferences and likings. This behaviour is perfectly normal. Learn to face rejections.
#6. Manage Your Own Anger
No matter how much your teenager's behaviour tries to provoke you, you will have to control your anger. You can’t help your teen if you lose your temper as well. As difficult as it sounds, you have to remain calm and balanced.
Only your rational and calm attitude can balance your teen's behaviour. The first school of a child is his home and the first teacher is his parents and as a parent, you also stimulate the child to do some behaviour. If you or other members of your family scream, hit each other, or throw things, your teen will naturally assume that these are appropriate ways to express their anger as well.
But if the attitude of your teenager is always aggressive, then you should give him an idea and hope that he will come out of this phase soon.
#7. Avoid Regular Punishment
If the teenager crosses his limits and you think that he might understand that by punishing him, then remember one thing that your regular punishment will provoke him against you.
However, regular punishment is not the best approach to dealing with your teen. In fact, punishment can make things worse. Teenagers may feel rejected and resentful. Hence, they may withdraw further from their parents.
Research shows that teenagers do better when their parents remain warm, open, and supportive, while also setting firm boundaries.
#8. Regular Conversations Is Must
Don't interrogate, but act interested. Share a few tidbits about your own day; ask about theirs. You must communicate with your teen at least once every single day. A few minutes of conversation while you're cleaning up after dinner or right before bedtime can keep you tuned in and establish open communication.
A good night hug and check-in chats, once they are lounging to bed will create a magic in your relationship. In addition to this short daily check-ins, establish a regular weekly routine for doing something special with your teen, even if it's just going out for ice cream or a walk together.
A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because its trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself.
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are” - (E.E. Cummings)
It’s worth reminding your teen that no matter how much changes they are experiencing right now, with your love and support, the situation can and will get better—for both of you. As a result, this ongoing relationship supports teen mental health and decreases substance abuse. Moreover, healthy teen-parent relationships help adolescents grow into strong, independent young adults. Apart from this, if you have any other tips or tricks based on your experience, please share in the comment box given below.