6 Essential Tips For Improving Parent-Teen Relationship
Nowadays, people think that for teenagers, families are less important and they want to live in their own kind of world. However this is not the reality, teenagers actually need their family in their adolescent age.
No doubt this is the age when teenagers have maximum disputes with parents, especially in the early adolescent age. Most common points on which teens have disputes with parents are
- Parents call their teachers without informing them
- Parents share with others what teens told them confidentially
- Parents expect no mistakes from their teens at all
- Parents start shouting on their mistakes publicly
- Parents compare their teens with other teens
- Parents start making their own assumptions about them
- Parents think and say, “We know you better than you know yourself”
- Parents talk negatively about their teens.
This is one side of the coin. Parents also have many points which create disagreement from parent’s end like
- Teenagers are very rude nowadays
- A teenager doesn’t have dressing sense and wants to wear anything for the sake of fashion
- Teenagers are consuming alcohol/illicit drugs
- Teenagers are very violent nowadays
- Teenagers are very demanding
- Teenagers want everything without hard work
- Teenagers don’t have desires to grow and curiosity to learn new things
Now let us discuss the first portion where parents need to understand their teens because it is very important. Teens are already facing biological and neurological changes in their adolescent age. Peer influence is another thing to face. Studies and sports are also there to challenge their mental and physical strengths.
So this is the time when as parents we must stand with our teens. We need to discuss everything and only we, as parents can guide and suggest them. Not only with words but also we need to teach them with our actions. Teenagers don’t listen to their parents but follow their parents. If on one side parent say,” Don’t tell lie” and on the other side parents lie. What can we expect from our teens? Will they stop telling lie? Never! So try to understand them and be their role model with your actions as well.
Here are some tips through which can remove all kinds of conflicts from both sides and in the end we can live like a happy family.
1 Communicate Before Making Decisions
Sometimes we want to take some most important decisions for the betterment of our teens like change in school, change in subjects and meeting with teachers for their performance evaluation or for any other reason. These decisions should not be taken by the parents themselves. We need to communicate about our perspective on planning for such decisions and what our teens think about those decisions.
Sometimes it seems necessary to take a particular decision but later we realize that it was just our assumption and it was not that important to take that decision. The only thing which we needed to have was a healthy communication.
Communication before any decision about teens can resolve many conflicts even before they arise. It will break our assumptions and also our teens will feel happy that our parents are trying to know our perspective as well.
2 Assure Teens That You Are Their Friends
When parents are strict, teens either start avoiding and hiding from parents or they start replying rudely to their parents. It keeps on increasing conflicts between parents and teens. As we discussed earlier that teens don’t like if we share something what they told confidentially or we shout publicly on them. Just think about it, would they expect such behaviour from their friends?
If we want our teens to talk to us, share their good and bad with us then we have to be their friends and for that, we have to win their confidence. Give them importance, respects their identity especially in front of others. Once we could assure them that we are their friends, it will be very easy for us to know and guide them.
3 Always Try To Motivate Your Teens
To err is human, to forgive divine. When we want to learn new things, mistakes do take place. No mistakes simply mean zero learning. It also implies on our teens. So whenever they make mistakes don’t say anything negative. Encourage them to learn from their mistakes and advice them not to repeat those.
Just like expecting no mistake from teens isn’t fair similarly comparing them with other teens is also not good. God has gifted everybody with different qualities. Some are good at sports and others are good at studies. If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. So help your teens in finding their strengths and motivate them in polishing those strengths. Where strengths need to be polished, there also we need to help our teens to work on their weaknesses.
This is how we can motivate our teens.
4 Spend More Time With Your Teens
Everything demands our time whether it is our job, health or other relations. Similarly, we can’t expect our deep bonding with our teens without giving them time. So try to spend more time with your teens.
It will improve our communication. When we spend more time together, teens feel free to share everything with us. It makes our bonding strong. It also gives us an opportunity to know more about our teen’s strengths and weaknesses.
5 Teach Them The Importance Of Earning And Savings
Sometimes we see that our teen’s demands are increasing without caring about parent’s income and worries. These demands could be related to sports kits, video games, fashionable dresses, and party with friends, a trip with friends or anything else. On refusing their demands, teens behave rudely. Sometimes it becomes very difficult to explain the situation to them.
Here again, it is the parent’s responsibility to teach their teens the importance of money. Encourage them to earn their own money. It will also increase a sense of responsibility in teens. They will not only understand how difficult it is to earn money but also they will start saving it.
6 Enrich Them With Moral Values
On occasions we should invite their group of friends and encourage them for some good deeds, doing something for the sake of others can enrich their moral values. It is very easy to say ‘NO’ every time to teens. In spite of saying ’NO’, try to engage them with some charity. On one side it will keep them busy and active and on the other side, it may save them from bad company.
Overall it is the parent’s responsibility to make their teens good and successful persons. Teens can move towards wrong directions very easily. But parent’s care, guidance and friendly behaviour can keep them on the right path/track.