How To Build A Relationship With Your Newlywed Daughter-In-Law
At the time of marriage, when the girl is leaving her parent’s home and going to the in-laws 'house, then parents give some special to advise to her, such as-' mould yourself according to in-laws, win everyone's heart by good behaviour and last but not the least whatever it is, adjust.’
All these advice are very good, but the daughter-in-law as well as the mother-in-law, both should need to learn and understand all these things. Then only the most special and important relationship of the in-laws is strong and there will be happiness in the family.
So today we are telling you such things, which the mother-in-law needs to understand
Injustice to put the full load of the kitchen work on the newlywed daughter-in-law
The mother-in-law needs to understand that the daughter-in-law's parents have raised their daughter as dearly as a son. She was asked to focus on studies more than household chores, and to focus on career. The daughter-in-law may not have even made tea at parent’s house and if she had ever made tea, and some other snacks, she would have made an amateur and no one would have scolded her when it deteriorated.
After marrying, a girl, who grew up in such an environment, it is unjust to expect that the girl will suddenly take over the charge of the kitchen like an expert in cooking. It would be better to ask her to spend the first few days in the kitchen only to watch and help a little bit. Slowly ask her to make it and continue to guide her by standing together. In this way, she will gradually learn everything.
Be her mother
The mother-in-law often feels bad seeing her daughter-in-law talking sweetly to her mother on the phone. She thinks that she never talks to us like this and when talking to her mother, sees how much is chirping. Have you ever thought about why? If not, think now.
Pamper your daughter-in-law too like your son. Sometimes, surprise her by making a dish of her choice, sometimes when she feels tired; ask her if she has any problem? If the daughter-in-law ever has a fever, cold, or periods, ask her to rest and take care of her. Whatever work she does at home, if, sometimes, she got late in doing those tasks, then do that work yourself. When you behave like this, your daughter-in-law will have respect and love for you and she will take care of you from the heart.
‘It’s not your parent’s house’- Don’t give such taunt
Often it happens in homes that the daughter-in-law is late in getting up or is late in coming home from the office, then she gets to hear the taunt that it is not her parent’s house, these kinds of things will not work here.
If you also hit such taunts, stop it immediately. Because of your taunts, the daughter-in-law repeatedly reminds her of her parents, wish to regain that freedom which was there at her parent’s house, missing the mother and her love, and she yearns to go to her parent’s home.
And then when she insists on going to parent’s house, again and again, you feel bad and think why she wants to go there again and again? If you adjust your temperament a little bit, give her freedom, then, she will find that in-laws will also look as cute and loving as her parents.
Let the daughter-in-law also decorate her new house
Every girl imagines her in-laws in her dreams. She wants to decorate her room in her own way. She also wants to add new things of her choice in the kitchen or living room. By doing this, she also feels familiar in that new house. She believes that yes, now this house is mine too. I can also put things of my choice in it.
But it is often seen that when a daughter-in-law tries to change something, the mother-in-law gets angry at her and says throw away all the old things, change them. Take us out, we too become old. Afraid of these things, the daughter-in-law is afraid to change anything and then she feels alienated in the house.
The mother-in-law should accompany the daughter-in-law and allow her to decorate the house accordingly. When she decorates the house herself, she will love that house. Also, when you take care of this feeling of hers, she will not throw away old things, will take care of your things, to which your feelings are attached.
Don't differentiate between daughter and daughter-in-law
Whenever you don't like anything of your daughter-in-law, stop and wait two minutes, before you scold her or hate her heartily, and think that if my daughter had done this, would I have reacted the same way? Remember that your daughter-in-law is also someone's daughter and your daughter will also go to her in-laws one day. If you want your daughter to be treated well, then you have to change yourself first.
You don’t stop the daughter from wearing modern clothes; do not scold her for getting up late, so why treat daughter-in-law like this? If you keep interrupting her like this, again and again, it's not that she starts hating you, she will be angry with you and she tells her husband to go to live in a different house.
The daughter-in-law should not feel that she is only a housemaid
Suppose you are old and you also need rest, but you should not put the burden of all the household chores on the newlywed daughter-in-law. Putting all burdens on her, you either spend a day resting or watching TV. That's not right at all.
In this way, when you don’t do any household work, then slowly but surely the daughter-in-law also feels that I have been brought to work in this house only. In such a situation, many girls are often tense and are forced to give the opposite answer: Am I the maid of this house? Or have kept me as a maid.
It would be better that you help in some work, as per your health and ability. You can definitely do the work of cutting vegetables, folding clothes, keeping an eye on children, getting work done by the maid, watering plants, and sometimes making tea. These types of work don’t even look so hard.