9 Tips To Overcome The Feeling Of Insecurity In A Relationship
What is insecurity?
It is an innermost emotion of being threatened and/or inadequate in some way. Many of us every so often feeling the pain of self-doubt, which is absolutely normal. But when it comes to personal insecurity in relationships and jealousy in comparison, it can actually act as a nail between you and your partner.
What does it mean to feel insecure in a relationship?
Insecurity in a relationship means that you are thinking excessively on aspects of your relationship while there is absolutely nothing to worry about. This insecurity in the relationship often comes to those who do not understand their value as a person and as a lover and as a life partner. The causes of a feeling of insecurity are irrational thoughts and fear like:
- That you are not good enough
- That you won't be okay without a partner
- That you won’t find anyone better
- That you are not really lovable
The feeling of insecurity is good up to some extent in a relationship because of it you value your partner more and works hard for the relationship. But chronic insecurity can disrupt success in your life and can be particularly unsafe to your intimate relationships. In the wake of this, you remain restless and you can’t involve with your partner in a relaxed and authentic way.
With the fear of insecurity, we always asking for reassurance, we feel jealous, sometimes we become accusing and even prying. Your activities can push your partner away.
Tips To Overcome The Feelings Of Insecurity
So what things you can do to feel more secure in your relationship? So here we have given some tips. Try them.
1 Stop Comparing Yourself With Others
The feeling of insecurity in the relationship comes when you compare yourself to someone else. Every person has his own qualities, just as every relationship is unique in itself with its positive and negative aspects.
But when a feeling of comparison comes in the mind of one person in a relationship, then these comparisons can cause much insecurity and can even break the bond with your partner.
To stop this, whenever you go into the mode of comparison, stop and think all the good things that you have with your partner and don't worry about others.
2 Start Appreciating Your Own Values
When you feel insecure, you are often thinking about what is lacking in you. To stop such thinking, remember that, “You are different and you are not like anyone else” There are many people who can’t see the good things of themselves and often hate themselves, thinking that there is nothing good in them because they don’t feel that they are special. This is another most common sign of insecurity.
The best way to get out of this self-hatred is to realize that there are people who really appreciate your mere existence. Furthermore importantly, you have someone who loves you just the way you are.
3 Don’t Try To Avoid Conversations
Communication is essential in every relationship, and it is important too. Being in a healthy relationship means having the ability to talk about anything with each other.
Lack of communication can also be a reason for the roots of insecurity in the relationship. Communication should be equal from both sides. If your partner is eager to know all your things but doesn’t share anything about him/her or says very little, then it is natural to have a feeling of insecurity. So try to talk to your partner without hesitation and tell what you are feeling.
4 Build Your Confidence And Self Esteem
Many times the root cause of insecurity is in our perspective of looking at ourselves. There must be some talent or some goodness in you, due to which someone liked you at first sight. If there is a feeling of insecurity in our mind it means we have lost our confidence. The only way to cure this 'blindness' for yourself is to be confident. So believe in yourself and let confidence overcome those insecurities.
Research shows that most people who feel insecure in relationships have poor self-esteem. When you do not feel good for yourself from inside, then it is natural that you will look outside for validation. Getting approval from your partner in an attempt to feel good is a trailing situation for any relationship. When you depend on someone else for your happiness, you have lost your power. Think, would a healthy partner like to carry this kind of burden? Not at all.
Feeling good about who you are will be good for the relationship. Just by liking yourself, you enjoy the feeling of well-being. Building your self-esteem is the only way to overcome your insecurities.
5 Be Accepting The Things That You Can't Change
There are some things in the relationship that you can never get back. You can’t change some realities of the relationship, then why mourn them. The challenges we see and experience in relationships are part of your life but we fail to realize this and it becomes one of the causes of insecurities.
To make it better, start with how you see yourself, how you respond to uncertainty, events and experiences that arise your way. Stop assuming or imagining things. This is going to take a step forward in harming your relationship. So it can be wise to accepting the things as they are.
6 Change Your Attitude
You feel that there are emptiness and unhappiness in your relationship and if you also feel that nothing is changing then maybe you need to change your perspective. A saying by Maya Angelou may apply here “If you don’t like something, change it if you can’t change it, change your attitude”
We know that it is very easy to give this advice to others but we all have to start somewhere. Can’t we start it now?
7 Know Your Strengths And Develop Them
Instead of focusing on bad and negative thoughts, try to find something in yourself that you can develop and draw strength from. For example, you can try to find out what makes you happy.
People, who really care about you, try to know the good things inside you through such people. Keep close to such well-wishers; they are your permanent source of strength. It can also work as a way to get out of the feeling of insecurity.
8 Trust Yourself
The foundation of every relationship is "trust". Feeling secure in a relationship depends on how much you trust the other person but, more importantly, how much you have trust in yourself. When you trust yourself, you will definitely feel secure. So start trusting yourself.
9 Seek Professional Help
If you have tried all the above things and still don’t feel better, then it’s a time to take the help of a professional. As an unbiased person, a professional will listen to your concerns and help you find connections you were unable to make. When you have found the right connections then, together, you can, set goals and change strategies.
Everyone experiences insecurity at some level because emotions play a great role when you are in a relationship. But if ignored, it can have an adverse effect on your day-to-day life.
When you realize that the "feeling of insecurity" is stepping towards your relationship, find out its causes and try every possible way to manage your insecurities before the things end.