10 Tips - How To Deal With A Controlling Husband
When we get married, we start a relationship where we can no longer think only about ourselves and we must work together to make any decision that is best for both. A "happy" marriage will be truly happy only if both partners understand each other well and are able to adjust accordingly.
But in some cases, this doesn’t happen and one of the spouses wants to control the other. Their relationship often leads to an unhealthy relationship when one of them tries to control other’s life. A controlling spouse makes another partner’s life difficult and pathetic. Here we will talk about such husbands who want to keep their wives under their control.
What are the signs of a Controlling Husband?
Your husband is good at heart, but he always does what they want and very commanding. He usually exercises his control in various ways, such as constant phone calling, verbal abuse, and continuous arguments and so on. Apart from these, there are some other signs that indicate that a husband is of controlling character.
- Always criticize
- Isolates you – from your family and friends
- Doesn’t give privacy
- Conditional love
- Constant threats and abuse
- Makes you feel guilty
- Makes you dependent on him
How To Deal With A Controlling Husband
1. Try to Be Calm and Patient
This is the first and key rule that when you are dealing with a controlling husband, you have to be calm and patient. Avoid arguing with them because arguing or shouting at each other does not solve any problem. The same thing sometimes turns into domestic violence.
When you keep calm and patience, it doesn’t mean that you are surrendering but you are showing him that you are not scared and his behaviour is not acceptable.
2. Make Him Understand the Damage Happening in Relationship
Try to convince your husband that such manipulative behaviour can affect the marriage relationship. For this, you have to talk to him. Communication exercises can help you better communicate your state of mind and feelings to your partner. Maybe this discussion can stop him. However, this effort can also be in vain.
3. Never take in Abuse
When you receive physical/mental/verbal abuse from your husband, it will only portray the signs of your weakness towards him. Tell your husband that you are better half and equal half after getting married and he has no right to hurt you physically / mentally / verbally.
Not only husband but both of you should make all decisions as a couple. Your husband should know how to respect each other to carry on your marital relationship.
4. Change Yourself
Don't blame yourself for your partner's disagreement. Instead, take charge of your own things and happiness in your hands. Remember, if you are not ready to change then you can’t change anyone else. This is why you can always start by changing yourself first and perhaps the rest will happen naturally and maybe changing yourself will change your husband's behaviour.
That's why to focus on improving yourself. Instead of taking responsibility for your partner's behaviour, improve your skills and create your 2.0 version for a better life with or without your husband.
5. Find Out the Reason Behind his Controlling Nature
If you really want to change your husband's nature, then for this you will have to seek professional medical consultation for your husband. It may initially be challenging for you, but once you pass this stage, it will, without doubt, reward you with an improved version of your husband.
Try to find out if your husband has suffered from any emotional issues in the past. Maybe a bad breakup or a messy divorce has put him in control of everything in the marriage.
6. Reconnect with Family and Friends
It may have happened that you would have separated from your family and friends when controlled by your husband. You need to make sure that you keep family and friends close. If you feel comfortable talking to someone you are close to and whom you trust, then it is good that you talk to them about the situation you are in. They may be able to offer advice or at least a comfy and safe space to express your feelings at this time.
Don’t let your husband ruin the relationships that have been built up over the years, and especially with your family members.
7. Warn Him
You can also try this to stop your husband's controlling behaviour. A clear warning given by you can teach him a lesson. Tell him firmly that until he does not change you will get out of this behaviour soon. Reassure him that you are not doing anything wrong. He should be mature enough to understand all these things.
8. Don’t give him Chance to Control You
Here we mean to maintain your distance for some time. There is not a clear separation, but there is a difference between the two of you, so he can understand that you have acted with his attitude. Don’t tell him where you are going, do what you want to do, but keep things decent and don’t cheat.
9. Talk to a Professional
It would also be a good idea to start going to therapy sessions together and try to improve the situation. There are many marriage workshops that can help you resolve your marriage issues. Marriage counselling can help you know each other better and maybe he can understand how his controlling behaviour is ruining your relationship.
If you have feelings, and trust in your love, then these workshops improve the condition of life and fix all the wrong things in your relationship. Marriage counsellors can help your husband understand you and your needs.
10. As a Last Resort
If your husband abuses you physically, verbally, emotionally or sexually, the best option is to leave the relationship. It is never right to live in a marriage that affects your mental health and self-esteem. Before making this make sure that you are not financially dependent on him and you will not face any difficulties after making such a decision.
Overall, dealing with a controlling spouse is not an easy task. In fact, it is one of the toughest and tragic things that can happen in a marriage. If neither method works, you should not be scared to leave him behind and discover a new and better life. After all, your own happiness also matters.
After analyzing these above factors, we hope that you have found the right way to deal with the signs of your controlling nature of your husband and help in your marriage.
We would also love to hear your views on this issue. Please let us know your opinions in the comment section below.