7 Effective Ways To Deal With A Controlling Wife
When you first come into a relationship, you are unaware of what you are going to get. You just know each other's likes/dislikes but each other's true nature is known only when you are together and living in the same house.
Most of the time, it is considered men who have control over relationships. A dominating man, who forces a woman to live life as he wishes, is a stereotype that most of us usually believe. However, sometimes, women can also be controlling in relationships, just like men. They can adopt a variety of tricks to do and behave with their men, which they find appropriate. Such women usually roll up their sleeves to control their men.
There are many men in this world who are in control of their wives and such men are controlled all the time by their wife.
What Are The Signs Of A Controlling Wife?
Let us focus on some simple scenarios that will relate only to a husband married to a controlling woman.
- The first sign of a controlling wife is to separate you from those closest to you and to make you feel like she is the only one close to you. In short, she isolates you from your relatives and friends.
- Your wife always criticizes you like how you talk, how you dress, how you work, what you do, how you act, or how you look.
- Your wife wants to know all the time by calling and asking, what are you doing and where are you, whom you are with, at what time you will go home.
- One more sign of controlling wife is that ‘she is always right’. Whenever you have an issue or disagreement, you lose because she is very clever of turning things around and excavating up past mistakes.
- She wants to make every small decision in your life. Like where should you spend, how much you should spend, how to wear clothes, which perfume to put on, etc.
- She is often irritated, angry and in a bad mood. She is having an irrational nature.
- She doesn't give you your personal space.
- She is threatening you repeatedly or giving you an ultimatum.
- If your wife often tells you that she will be more caring for you if you do this or that, it shows her controlling nature.
- She makes a list of the favours he gives and receives. She uses guilt as a tool she seeks.
Ways To Deal With A Controlling Wife
Control issues are not unfamiliar in any relationship. If you feel that you have also married a controlled person, here are some things you can start doing:
1. Try To Find Out The Reason
First of all, try to find the reason behind her such controlling behaviour. She may have underlying problems such as psychological problems. Controlling behaviour is one way to protect ourselves, which is a method that develops our brains to deal with situations that make us uncomfortable. People who exhibit this type of behaviour often do so by trying to control things around them in an attempt to calm their emotions.
2. It Would Be Better To Stay Calm
When you are dealing with a controlling wife, try to be calm as it would be better than arguing over any issue. Just tell her why you disagree with her on some things, explain to her what you feel and try to talk with her. It can be a bit difficult at first to remain calm during a conversation, but gradually, over time, you will learn how to control your temperament.
3. Start Working Together
If you have noticed that your wife has been controlling and dominating you recently, you should talk to her. Explain her reasons you think she is behaving this way and ask if she realizes that what she is doing is unfair and it could even harm your relationship in the long run. Then maybe you can start working together to resolve this issue. Cooperation is very important in trying to solve this type of problem.
4. Explain How Her Attitude Is Hurting
When you start trying to resolve the issue together, tell your partner honestly how her actions are hurting you. Explain to them that their behaviour sometimes makes you feel sore, depressed and even secluded and such feelings are reducing your confidence and your self-esteem and you would like to be treated more like a happy couple and not like two people who have something to argue about constantly.
5. Try To Change Yourself
Focus on improving yourself rather than taking responsibility for your partner's behaviour because no matter how much you try, you can’t change anyone else if they are not ready to change. That's why you can always start by changing yourself first. Maybe, seeing you changed, your wife's behaviour may also change. But remember it shouldn't change you significantly.
6. Seek Professional Help
You can get help from a professional to improve your relationship and to overcome this problem in your relationship. You can go to marriage workshops; you can go to counselling or even go to group therapy. With the help of a professional, you try to improve everything that goes wrong in your relationship. Whatever you do to improve your relationship, always keep in mind the feelings you have for each other. Work together and be honest with each other.
7. Get Away From Such An Unhealthy Relationship
Someone gives this advice only when the circumstances are out of control. Your married life is boring and tedious when you are abnormally dominated or controlled by your wife. You have been deprived of rights and your wife's never-ending domination makes you feel like an outsider in your own home. Her critical eyes, punitive dialect and annoying trespass in your privacy make you want to get out of such an unhealthy relationship.
If one person is controlling in any relationship then it is not an easy task to live in such a relationship. In fact, it is one of the most difficult and tragic things of a marriage relationship.